What you need to know before you get married and advice on how to stay together!
by Kathe Forrest
Shakti Parwha Kaur Khalsa, the first Kundalini yoga student in America,
has been giving advice on marriage for over 38 years. Her first book,
published in 1996, Kundalini Yoga: The Flow of Eternal Power, is the
definitive text on kundalini fundamentals.
She has written a marriage manual outlining a strong and committed relationship. Marriage on the Spiritual Path: Mastering the Highest Yoga is an expanded version of Shakti Parwha’s talk-“Don’t Get Married”. These lectures were given to students of Yogi Bhajan (credited with bringing Kundalini yoga to the West) as a reality check before taking vows. Shakti pointed out to the pair that it’s not going to be smooth sailing and that being together in each other’s space is going to be quite a challenge needing practice everyday. You must expect to raise your consciousness with values and virtues and most importantly come from your heart, she writes. The enduring power of love is characterized by a constant desire to give. It is unconditional, accepting the differences between the two of you. Each partner must be kind and compassionate while compensating for each other’s weaknesses.
One thing that can wreck a marriage is Ego. A man needs to have that manifest in him more than a woman. Conversely, a woman has more power in the marriage and more ability to impact the relationship for better or worse. For instance, if she becomes “commotional”-where her emotions are over the top and dramatic, then she loses. On the other hand, a man should not behave as a drama. Relate to a woman as a simple, intelligent man of your word.
A man needs a woman to inspire him, to ease his stress and strain and help him relax. Moreover, a woman wants to brag about the man for something. For example, how intelligent he is. She also wants him to be kind and be honest.
“When a man works on himself to grow and change, his woman will be challenged and work on herself to try to match up to him.”
Shakti emphasizes that the spiritual perspective is missing in our society. How to compensate for that is with the technology of sadhana (spiritual practice) and meditating together. This is the glue or cement in keeping the marriage together. This brings you to a higher state of consciousness where you remember why you got married, who you really are and then you can set aside the trivialities of the day. “Seeing the God in your partner changes your whole perspective”.
A recipe for happiness in a marriage begins with commitment, which builds character. Character or moral fiber builds dignity; that gains you divinity. Divinity is when you put your life on the line to serve another person; that leads to grace and gives you the power to sacrifice, which takes you to happiness.
Marriage on the Spiritual Path: Mastering the Highest Yoga is a practical
guide to understanding and achieving a successful spiritual marriage while keeping up with the demands of daily living.
This was written in 2007 after a interview with the author.